Live for the moment
So I really felt like writing on a topic that I feel passionately about. I don't feel that there is any wrong or right answer to what I'm about to discuss. This is my opinion.
I don't believe there is a meaning to life. I have struggled with suicidal thoughts multiple times, I've thought of how I would do it, from school shooting, to jumping off a bridge, to drug overdose, to stepping in front of a train. I've played the scenarios out in my head hundreds of times. Im not scared to admit it on a public forum. I'm a very blunt person, I don't care what people think of me.
This is me.
Having said that brings me to another point. Because at the end of the day life is short, and don't hate on me for saying it even though I'm only 18 cos it is. People take it for granted and truth is 20 years go by just like that. You've got to live in the moment. Be who you want to be.
Because every time you conform to what society calls normal, every time you pretend to be someone you're not a little piece of you dies and some people try so hard to be something that they're not that they lose all sense of what it means to be human. They lose the most important thing in life. Their personality. Because at the end of the day people can take everything from you. They can take everything and everyone you ever loved. They can take your name and identity. They can take your very freedom. But they can never take the thing that makes you truly unique. They can never take your personality. Only you can give that up.
Live your life the way you want to live it. People say live with no regrets and that is how I believe it should be. You can't worry about what has happened. One of my favourite quotes for a very long time. 'Live life for what tomorrow has to offer not for what yesterday has taken away.' In short it means don't dwell in the past, we cannot change what has happened but we can change what will happen.
You can be whoever you want to be. You can do whatever you want to do.
The key word here is 'you.'
It is your life. No one else will ever know exactly what you are feeling. No one else will ever know exactly what you are thinking. No one else will ever understand you perfectly.
Everyone has the potential to be great, we all have different definitions of great so I'm going to use a few examples, and please bare with me.
Adolf Hitler, cue the haters. In a sense Adolf Hitler is 'great.' What he did will be remembered in history for a long time. I'm not saying I agree with what he did because I do not, what I am saying is that he stood up for what he believed in and he went for it and you know what he didn't achieve it but he wasn't scared to go for it even though so many people disagreed with him and in my book that does make him 'great' even if it is somewhat controversial.
Then there is someone like Martin Luther King. Again he wasn't scared even against such great opposition to stand up for his beliefs. And in the end he won. He made a difference. He was just an ordinary guy that decided enough was enough. He took a stand and he didn't let people shoot him down. And that is something that I respect above all else.
Now I'm not saying go out and start WW3, what I'm saying is be yourself. If you have a dream go for it. You might fail but you might achieve greatness along the way.
You can change the world.
But maybe it's not about changing the world. Maybe the world is too fucked up to be bothered with. The fact is you can make a difference. Which brings me to my next example.
Michael 'Predator' Carlton. The founder of the Sydney Cave Clan. Predator is someone I highly respect, along with all members of CC, not that I've met any yet but I respect them because of what they represent. The level of loyalty that they must possess must be wonderful. The fact that they're not conforming to what society views as normal is something I regard highly, and that goes for the wider urbex community too. Anyway back to Predator. Predator is 'great' to a certain level. He showed me that you don't have to become the Prime Minister, you don't have to become a billionaire, you just have to surround yourself with the right group of people and no matter how small you might feel you can make a difference. This year is 11 years since he died of cancer and yet here I am talking about him. A guy I never met that just by reading his approach.doc has changed my life. And in a small part has changed the world, because changing the world doesn't necessarily mean finding a cure to cancer or inventing a car that runs on watermelons. Changing the world can be as simple as saying hello to someone in the morning. Every action you make changes what would've been.
You are changing the world every day. Maybe it seems small but everyone has to start somewhere. It's about persevering and believing.
I feel as if I'm getting off topic so i will wrap it up.
Everybody dies.
I am not scared of death. There is no point fearing something that is unavoidable. Death comes to us all. For some people a quick death in their sleep is the best they can hope for. For me personally I want to hurt. I've self harmed simply because the more pain I'm in the more alive I feel. In the end death will be my salvation. Because I know that no matter how much pain I am in eventually I will feel nothing. The darkness will be my light.
Just remember that whatever you're going through someone else is going through worse. Live in the moment because death can strike at any time and you sure as hell don't want to be taking your final breathes wishing you'd had the balls to ask that girl out.
If you have a something you want to do, do it. You could be hit by a drunk driver tomorrow while driving to work and through no fault of your own your life is over. Death follows you everywhere and can happen when you least expect it.
Don't let others hold you back.
One life. One chance. No regrets.
2 things I value above all else.
Respect. Loyalty.
-Echo
Wander often. Wonder always.
Thankyou for sharing.
I do respect honesty as one of humanitys greatest traits, so I do appreciate what you've said, and certainly took the time time to read all you've said.
I'm a little concerned by the fact you mentioned suicide though. I know what drives people to it, and I know what is found afterwards. Please think about that.
You may feel that we're just a bunch of imaginary internet people you'll never know, but that ain't the case. Need help? you'll get it. The power of a community is a surprising thing. Bit of a night owl myself so i'll be off to bed soon enough, but mate, if you need to talk with anyone you can pm me anytime (As well as any of our other team members, We're here to help)
I feel there's probably more on your mind behind this post, but f***, man, you've got an ear or ten around here. Take care friend.
Thank you. there is a lot more on my mind. I've been to some dark places, I've been on the edge of life. Times when I really just wanted to do it, times when I almost did. Because as I said in my post we all die. And to me, in my mind, it doesn't matter if I die now or in 60 years. The same conclusion is reached. If I die I die. I'm not scared because I know I am ready to die. I have accepted it as it will happen. Im already here on borrowed time because if it had been up to me I wouldve bled out on a lonely boardwalk in the rain already. Im not saying I believe in God, I'm an agnostic, maybe he's there maybe he isn't. But I do feel like someone extra was there that day. And that is why I might still talk about suicide and I might still think about it regularly but I will not be as quick to act upon those thoughts. I know there will be a forthcoming time in my life where I will again feel that life is just not worth living, it all comes down to how I handle that moment. Live for the moment.Dynamite wrote:That's a very self baring and direct post my friend.
I do respect honesty as one of humanitys greatest traits, so I do appreciate what you've said, and certainly took the time time to read all you've said.
I'm a little concerned by the fact you mentioned suicide though. I know what drives people to it, and I know what is found afterwards. Please think about that.
You may feel that we're just a bunch of imaginary internet people you'll never know, but that ain't the case. Need help? you'll get it. The power of a community is a surprising thing. Bit of a night owl myself so i'll be off to bed soon enough, but mate, if you need to talk with anyone you can pm me anytime (As well as any of our other team members, We're here to help)
I feel there's probably more on your mind behind this post, but f***, man, you've got an ear or ten around here. Take care friend.
Wander often. Wonder always.
Do not pass away your opportunity to live a long and rewarding life so easily! I understand you have problems and/or issues, but how you deal with it, is what defines your character and moral strength. I have had a very close relative commit suicide and it destroyed his family, it literally tore the family apart.
I always say, if something troubles you, remove it from your life, whether by walking away or putting it in a virtual pigeon hole and closing the door.
Always look at a situation and ask yourself, how do I improve this, how can this be better, what can I do to improve the situation! if you creatively seek to improve things it will assist you in thinking positively!!
I would like to think that you will elevate yourself above these issues, and move away from "negative" thoughts, not all of us want to be prime ministers or Hitlers but, sit down and think long and hard at what you wish to accomplish in life. Modern life is "nested" into making people think you have to have a mortgage a BMW a wife and 2.5 kids, how far from the truth that is for most people. Life is as easy or hard as you make it!, it's about what's important to you.
Do what feels right, live life the way it feels good for you! yeah sometimes we have to compromise, but it's how you deal with that, that makes you individual.
I have 2 children, one is 24 and the other 15, and I have always said, do what makes you happy, don't do something to please Dad! If it doesn't feel right don't do it, and to my reckoning they are both Happy!
You don't have to listen to me prattling along, but I urge you to seek/ask for help, from people who you see as strong!
I am concerned for you and hope you find answers to whatever is troubling you!
Kind Regards
UH
PS There are people here of all ages and have varying life experiences, and I'm sure someone here will identify with some/all of your issues, at least you have the guts to put it out there! respect to you for that Echo!!!